


Grieving

by hamitome__imagines



Series: Random Reed900 Drabbles [5]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game), Detroit: Evolution
Genre: Angst, Connor & Upgraded Connor | RK900 are Siblings, Elijah Kamski & Gavin Reed are Siblings, Established Relationship, Grieving RK900, M/M, RK900 is called Nines, Swearing, Upgraded Connor | RK900 Is Bad at Feelings, guys the major character death is tagged for a reason, seriously only read if you want angst, there is little to no fluff, two major deaths
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:55:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24494620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hamitome__imagines/pseuds/hamitome__imagines
Summary: Connor experience grieving for reasons Nines would rather not focus on, so he distances himself from his predecessor. Years later, Nines faces the same grief. And there is no one around to help him through it.
Relationships: Upgraded Connor | RK900/Gavin Reed
Series: Random Reed900 Drabbles [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1713403
Comments: 4
Kudos: 38





	Grieving

**Author's Note:**

> Y'all, this is sad. Like no joke, this is a straight up angst train. But I had this idea and I had to run with it. I do like how it turned out though. Oh, and the character named James I see as like a cross somewhere between Josh and Luther but he's human. Do with that information what you will.

Nines knew it was going to be a bad day when Connor showed up at his house with synthetic tears running down his cheeks. Connor rarely cried. He was far more emotional than Nines, but was usually composed. The last time Nines saw Connor like this was when Sumo passed away. Nines also noted Connor’s LED was a glaring red color with no intention of changing anytime soon.

Nines opened the door wider, silently inviting Connor in. “Gavin, Connor is here.” Nines called into the house as he followed his predecessor in. Gavin just looked up as the pair walked into the living room.

“Oh shit.” He mumbled as he took in Connor’s appearance. “What happened?” Gavin and Connor had thankfully gotten closer over the past few years. Maybe they weren’t extremely good friends, but they got closer. Gavin even invited Connor out for drinks with Tina and Chris on occasion.

Connor dropped onto the couch and Nines sat beside him. Connor stared blankly ahead for a moment. The tears kept freely falling from his eyes. “Hank.” He chocked out. The mention of the name had Connor choked up. He could barely get the name out clearly. “I…I went to wake him.” His entire statement was laced with static. “But he…he…” Connor took another static-filled deep breath. Nines assumed it was to calm down because Connor didn’t actually need to breathe. “Hank wouldn’t wake up.” A fresh wave of tears poured down his cheeks. “No matter what I did.”

“Fuck.” Gavin grumbled, looking shaken as well. He had admired Hank after all. And like Connor, Gavin had become close to the Lieutenant in recent years. As Hank started to rebound from his son’s death, Gavin began to see the the successful lieutenant he remembered from before. And because Gavin was dating Hank’s adoptive son’s somewhat brother, the two were inevitably spending more time together.

Unfortunately, Nines was unsure what to do for either man. Gavin was remaining composed for the most part. Nines noticed small indicators of grief in his partner, but also noticed the indicators that Gavin was trying to hide how upset he was. Whether because he didn’t feel comfortable being so open in front of Connor or because he was letting Connor grieve, Nines wasn’t sure.

Connor was not fairing so well. Tears were dripping from his face onto his pants. He stared blankly ahead. His hands kept ruffling through his hair anxiously. Nines didn’t know what to do for Connor. In humans, physical contact was positive. But Connor wasn’t human. Still he reached out and pulled Connor into a sideways hug. The way Connor melted into Nines’ awkward embrace reminded Nines that Connor had always been fond of hugs. Hank had been the one to create that fondness.

It took some time, and a call to Markus, before Connor finally left. Gavin urged Connor to go to New Jericho and not be alone right now. As Nines shut the door behind Connor, he heard Gavin take a shuddering breath. He turned to find Gavin angrily scrubbing a hand down his face before trying to find anything to do to distract himself. Nines walked over to him before he could locate something and pulled him into a hug.

Gavin immediately broke down. Nines knew why. Hank was gone now. Nines’ LED had been yellow since he found out, red at times as well. But it was different for Gavin. The last time Gavin broke down this badly was after Fowler passed away. Nines was worried about Gavin’s mental state for well over a month. Now Gavin lost Hank as well. Gavin would never admit it, but those two men were father figures to him. And they were both gone.

Gavin decided they would do nothing that day, and Nines agreed it was for the best. They put some TV show on and just sat down to watch it. Gavin kept alternating between many emotions, Nines was having a hard time keeping up. At times he just clung to Nines, sometimes in tears other times just blankly sitting there. Other times he would get up and move around, find dumb tasks to occupy his mind for a few minutes. Some times he would talk endlessly and other times Nines couldn’t get a single word from him. And Gavin also got angry. Shouting, ranting, cursing Hank for doing this to them. But he always ended up sitting on the couch next to Nines. “He’s really gone.” He muttered. Nines just nodded.  
——  
Nines understood that Connor was grieving. But…he hated it. Nines missed Hank too, a lot. But When Connor was around, it was too much. Nines never knew how to help him. He often ended up calling Markus for help. And quite frankly, Nines hated being around Connor right now. Nines didn’t enjoy that thought, but he knew that’s what he was feeling. Anger. Many other smaller emotions as well but anger was the main one.

At first Nines had been confused. Connor was sad, and it was slightly bothersome to have a sobbing android in front of you with no way to fix it. But that shouldn’t make Nines as mad as it did. So there was another reason. And finally, Nines figured it out.

Every time he saw Connor, he was reminded that Hank was gone. It wasn’t as though he forgot. But Connor was always upset because Hank was gone. Seeing Connor was a painful reminder. Connor lost someone dear to him. Hank had aged, while Connor hadn’t. And, as the androids knew would happen one day, Connor outlived Hank. Seeing Connor was a reminder of that fact. And it reminded Nines what would happen in his life one day. Nines would remain the same and Gavin would age.

Nines would outlive Gavin. And every time Nines saw Connor, he thought of that. And it pissed him off.

Nines didn’t want to be reminded that he would have to live on without Gavin. But that was all he could think about whenever he was near Connor. And that wouldn’t do. He’d much rather just enjoy the time he has with the person he loves, not contemplate the future they will have to face. More specifically, the future Nines will have to face. Alone.

Nines straightened out Gavin’s black tie a few days later. Gavin took a deep breath. “I don’t know if I can do this, Nines.” He said.

Nines placed his hands on Gavin’s shoulders. “You know you have to.” He told him. “It will help you get closure and say a proper goodbye. And, while I don’t believe in ghost, if anyone could find a way to come back from the afterlife to cause you turmoil for missing his funeral then it would be Hank.” That pulled a small smile from Gavin and a nod of agreement. Then, Nines’ expression dropped. “If it’s any consolation, I’m not sure of my ability to handle this either.”

Gavin furrowed his brow. “You can handle anything Nines. I know you have emotions and everything, but you are so good at keeping them under control. And Hank isn’t the first person close to you that you’ve lost.” Gavin pointed out. That was true. Over time officers had died in the line of duty. Fowler had retired and then shortly passed away only a few years ago. Shortly after the revolution, Nines had met Carl Manfred and befriended the old artist. Then, too quickly after, Carl passed away. Nines had been upset during those events, visibly to those who knew him well. So Gavin was unsure what made this different.

“I know that it’s just…it’s difficult to be around Connor right now.” Nines struggled to explain. “I understand that he’s grieving but…I don’t enjoy being around him much right now.” Nines didn’t want to disclose why it was so hard to be around Connor. Gavin didn’t need to worry about the fate that surely awaited them. If Gavin wasn’t thinking about it, that was for the best. And if Gavin did think about it, he’d try far too hard to fix the problem when there might not be a solution.

“Hey, how about this? I’ll support you if you support me through this.” Gavin suggested.

Nines managed a small smile. “I think that’s a good plan.” However, Nines thought that was in fact a terrible plan. One day he would have to face another funeral, though one far worse than the one he’s subjected to today. And at that one, Gavin would not be around for it. But again, he didn’t want to put the thought in Gavin’s mind. So they went to the funeral.

Connor was visibly upset the whole time. Nines was grateful that Markus was present at the funeral as well. He didn’t have to be near Connor as much. It also gave he and Gavin time to say their proper goodbyes to Hank. Nines kept his composure through the service and the burial. Gavin was not faring as well. He got emotional during the service. He would keep wiping at his eyes and sniffling, trying his best to hide how he was feeling. The burial was worse, and Gavin let himself cry openly. Nines comforted him as best as possible.

As the funeral drew to a close, Nines directed Gavin to leave the funeral. He didn’t stop to tell Connor he was leaving. “I hope Connor will be ok.” Gavin mumbled on the way home.

“I’m sure he will be. He has Markus.” Nines commented.

“Well, you’re gonna help him too right?” Gavin asked. “I mean, I know you said it’s hard to be around him while he’s like this, but he’s gonna need some help.”

Nines let out a small shrug. “If he requests my help then possibly. You know I’m not great with emotions. So Markus would be much more helpful than I would be.”

“You’re his somewhat-brother. You are super important to him. I’m sure he’ll come to you. And you have emotions Nines, so you’ll be a big help to him. I know it.” Nines didn’t tell Gavin his plan. His boyfriend had much higher faith in him than he should apparently. But it didn’t take long for Gavin to figure out what Nines was doing. And that was avoiding Connor completely.

Nines’ LED would spin yellow and Nines would reflexively blink a couple times. “What was that about?” Gavin asked.

“Connor messaged me. It’s not important.”

“How’s he doing?” Gavin would follow up.

“Better.” Was Nines’ usual reply. Gavin would give him a skeptical look but press no further.

Or the way that Connor returned to work, after a break of bereavement, and yet mostly avoided Nines and Gavin. Gavin would make an effort to ask Connor if he wanted to go get drinks and Connor would flatly refuse.

The former weekly meetings between the two RK models stopped. Gavin would ask about it, about their relationship as whole, but Nines always had an excuse. He always had a reason for it. But Gavin continued to ask about it.

“What’s up with you and Connor lately?” He asked over dinner one night.

“Connor is busy. Besides, I like spending more time with you.” Gavin smiled at the compliment.

“That’s nice and all.” Gavin said. “But I heard Connor telling Chris that he didn’t have plans. And that besides spending time at New Jericho he doesn’t have all that many plans at all. Apparently he’s thinking about getting a dog since he has lots of time on his hands.” Gavin raised an eyebrow in question. He wasn’t angry, but he wanted the truth. And Nines knew it.

Nines sighed. “We haven’t talked much since Hank funeral.” He said.

“What?!” Gavin all but shouted. “Nines, that was years ago!”

“I’m aware.” Nines responded. “I wasn’t much help to him when he was grieving. I think it caused a schism between us.”

“Well, fucking fix it.” Gavin said. Nines gave him a curious look. Gavin never really cared about his relationship with Connor. “Look, if it wasn’t for you, I never would’ve talked to Eli again. You helped me fix my relationship with my brother. You should fix your own relationship with your’s.”

“I don’t think that Connor would be willing to forgive me. I feel as though I handled the situation poorly.” Nines knew he did, he intentionally handled it poorly.

“Nines, just reach out to him. Isn’t it shit not being able to talk to him?” Gavin asked.

Nines just shook his head. “I suppose it isn’t ideal, but I have you to talk to. Not to mention Chris and Tina as well. And Connor hasn’t reached out to me either. I suppose he wants nothing to do with me anymore.”

Gavin sighed. “It doesn’t bother you?” Gavin asked.

“No.” Nines said. “It isn’t ideal, as I said. But it doesn’t cause me any sorrow. I wasn’t there for him, so this outcome was anticipated.”

“Look, I won’t keep pestering you about it if it’s not bothering you. But I still think you should fix it.”

“Noted.”  
——  
Gavin aged. It was always going to happen. But Nines wished it hadn’t. His hair grew gray. Gavin’s facial hair also got more gray in it, and Gavin let it grow out from stumble. Work became different too. Gavin began taking less cases, so Nines did as well. When Gavin retired, Nines stayed on the force. However, he took many more days off to be with Gavin.

Nines assumed that he should be grateful that Gavin didn’t die in the line of duty, wasn’t struck by a bullet. But it was equally hard to watch Gavin age more and more each day. Watch him grow weaker and weaker.

One morning Nines went to wake Gavin up. No matter how much he shook him he didn’t stir. He turned on the lights, opened the curtains. No reaction. Finally, he let himself scan the man that had fallen asleep next to him. Nines was regretting going into stasis last night. And when his scan confirmed that Gavin’s vitals were registering as zero, Nines completely regretted it. If Nines hadn’t gone into stasis maybe he would’ve known when Gavin started slipping away. He maybe could’ve saved him.

“Gavin.” Nines pleaded. “Wake up, please.” He urged. Tears were welling in his eyes, starting to slip out and drip on Gavin’s face as well. Nines knew that it was pointless to plead, Gavin couldn’t hear him. But he still tried his fucking hardest. He pleaded and pleaded. He shouted Gavin’s name. And he cried. He couldn’t stop all the tears. Eventually he collapsed, letting his face fall onto Gavin’s chest, just clinging to man beneath him.

Finally, Nines stood up and alerted the proper authorities about the situation. After a few days and far too much work (a thought Nines had never had before, androids don’t have a threshold of what is ‘too much’ but Nines found his limit), there was a funeral. Nines stared in the mirror where he was wearing his dark suit once more. “Who’s going to support me now?” Nines mumbled to no one. He had no one to talk to anymore.

He was at the funeral. He supposed it was his job to greet people as they came in, but he just couldn’t. He was broken. He didn’t even want to be here. Nines stood near the casket, wanting to take in the final time he’d see Gavin. But alternatively he didn’t want to see Gavin in his current state. Currently, Nines was just staring at his shoes and trying not to let his emotions be too visible. A pair of black shoes stepped up next to his. Nines looked up and stared into his predecessors’ eyes. Though not RK800, but RK200.

“How are you?” Markus asked.

Nines shook his head. “Not great.” He admitted. “What do I do now?”

Markus shrugged. “Whatever you would do before. Work, spend time with people. Just find something to distract yourself. It’s never really easy.”

“Of course not. Emotions never are. And I don’t expect anything this painful to be easy.” Nines looked to Markus. “I’ve dealt with loss before. Hank, Fowler, Carl, and so many others. But it never felt like this.”

“You’ve lost those important to you. But you’ve never lost someone you loved. Now all you can do is to remember the time you spent with him. As androids, our immortality is a blessing and a curse.” Markus commented.

“It just feels like a fucking curse.” Nines muttered. Markus sympathetically placed a hand on Nines’ shoulder.

“I only met him a handful of times.” Markus said. “But he was actually a fairly decent man. And you were so good for him.” He looked to Nines. “He really loved you.” That sent Nines into another wave of tears that he tried to repress. Markus just gave his shoulder a comforting squeeze before walking off. Nines watched him go and walk up to Simon who had hung back. Nines tried to swallow his jealousy. Markus and Simon would never experience what he was feeling right now. Then he noticed the android anxiously standing behind Simon.

Connor was fidgeting with the sleeves of his suit coat. He was obviously trying not to look to Nines. But, as if he sensed Nines’ gaze, he looked over and locked eyes with him. Connor stared for a minute before giving a sympathetic smile and a nod. Nines just stared, too many emotions whirling in him.

Connor was here. Why? Nines was shit to him in the past years. Hell, they hadn’t spoken in over a decade. Yet, he came. He came to see Nines on what was probably the hardest day of his life. Nines still kept his distance. Connor would come up to him if he wanted to. But he knew he didn’t even deserve this small show of support that Connor was showing him.

And Connor didn’t come up to him through the whole service. Nines noted Markus talking urgently to him many times. Nines liked to think Markus was urging Connor to speak to Nines, but it may have just been wishful thinking. Nines would’ve liked the support right now. After the burial, which nearly broke Nines, people gathered back at the funeral home for some food and to talk about the deceased, Gavin in this case.

Nines looked around. In any other context, he would’ve been surprised. A majority of the people who turned up for this were androids. For someone who originally hated androids, in the end he befriended many of them. People came up to Nines and once more offered their sympathy. Nines was frankly getting sick of it. Their apologies and sympathy did nothing to help him. As Nines looked around he noticed Connor heading to the exit. Once more, he caught Nines’ gaze. Connor’s LED spun yellow for a moment. A second later Nines heard his voice in his head. “I’m sorry, Nines.” Then, Connor left.

After everyone left, Nines stayed at the funeral home for quite a while. Once he got home, it would be true. He would be completely alone. The house would be empty and Nines would have no one with him. But, he couldn’t sit around the funeral home forever. Technically he could, as an android. But he wasn’t allowed to.

So he walked home. Once he got home he looked around, completely unsure what to do. He dropped onto the couch. Time flowed around him, and for the first time in a long while Nines felt similar to how he had when he was first activated. He had nothing to do so he merely sat, doing nothing as time continued flowing. He had no objectives, no tasks.

A knock at the door broke the empty silence. Nines stood and opened the door. Chloe stood there. “Hello, Nines.” She gave a gentle smile.

“Hello.” After Kamski’s death, two years prior, the Chloe androids at his home continued to live there. They practically ran CyberLife now.

“I understand today is a difficult day, but I was asked to deliver this.” She commented. She handed over an envelope. She paused. “I hope you’re alright. I know this is difficult. Do not hesitate to reach out.”

“Thank you, Chloe.” Nines said with a soft smile. She smiled as well, and then pulled him into a hug. Nines stiffened but slowly returned the embrace. She walked away, leaving Nines with an envelope. Nines sat back on the couch before looking at the envelope. His eyes widened as he took in the handwriting on in. It was addressed, “To my favorite Tin Can.” It was from Gavin. He hastily tore it open. Inside was a lengthy letter, handwritten by Gavin. Nines felt his eyes start to well with tears as he read it.

> Dear Tin Can,
> 
> I’m not sure if you appreciate getting an actual letter. Like a paper letter, but this felt like the best way for me to do this. You’re reading this note so I must be six feet under, after all, I asked Chloe to give you this letter after my funeral. Because I know what’s going through that processor of your’s.
> 
> When we finally got together you told me that you figured out your purpose was to protect people and to protect me specifically. Well, now I’m gone and I’m not around to protect. And you’ve got to figure out what to do now. And as much as it pisses me off to say this, I’m sure one of your plans was to just shut yourself off. You think there is nothing for you to do so you think you should shut down your processors and call it good. But I can’t let you do that Nines.
> 
> You have so much more potential. You can protect more people than just me. And I can’t stand the thought of you just deactivating. I can’t stand the thought of you dying because I do. I know this is going to be hard for you. That last few years, me aging while you stayed the same, was so fucking hard. But you have to continue on, and alone. And I’m sorry that I can’t be there anymore, Nines. I promised you I wasn’t going anywhere, and I left. I broke a promise to you, and I’m so sorry.
> 
> I want you to do something for me, one last request. Hell, it’s my dying wish (bad humor I know, but when has my humor been anything but bad) so you have to fulfill it. Contact Connor. I know, your relationship with him as been less than stellar lately. But Nines, don’t be alone right now. Connor has been through this shit so many times now, let him help you. Let him be with you and help you face this grief that you have to be feeling. Please, Nines, don’t be alone. Call your brother (yeah, yeah. I know you aren’t ‘technically’ brothers) and patch things up. Just like you helped me do. Reach out, and Connor may just reach back. Hell, he may already be holding out his hand for you.
> 
> One last thing, I love you Nines. So fucking much. I knew when I was getting older that something like this would happen, me ya know…dying. I can’t help but worry about you. You always looked out for me, and I can’t even be there for you right now. But I love you. I loved you since we met. And I know, once you got past my all my fucking walls, that you loved me. And I was so lucky to be the one to be loved by you.
> 
> This might be hard for you, I don’t fucking know how big impact I had on you, but Nines, I hope you find someone else. It doesn’t have to be this week, this month, this year, hell even this decade. Grieve, let yourself be sad. Feel all those emotions you hidden from everyone else, but I know they’re there. And I know they’re gonna be hitting hard right now. But please, I want you to move on eventually.
> 
> I want you to find someone else who can love you as much as I did. I mean, you’re so fucking great Nines. You could find someone to love you way better than I ever could. Don’t get me wrong. I loved you so fucking much, more than I ever thought I could. But I always thought you were too good for me. You could find someone way better than I am. And I know if you could talk to me, you’d tell me you want me. Flaws and all. And damn, that was always good to hear Nines. But I’m serious when I say you could find someone way better. And that’s the whole reason to keep living, Nines. One day, it may not seem like it, but the grief you feel now will fade away. And then, you can move on and find someone else. Someone who loves you and someone you can love in return.
> 
> You have so much life left, Nines. And I know you have so much love too. Don’t throw those wonderful things away. Live on. And if you can’t do it for yourself then do it for me.
> 
> I love you Nines. And I don’t fucking know if there’s any sort of afterlife, but if there is then I’ll watch you from there. And I’ll miss you Nines, so much. Thank you for putting up with me for as long as you did. I know it wasn’t easy, but you made me so damn happy, Tin Can. I can never thank you enough. I can never express just how much I loved you.
> 
> Gavin
> 
> P.S. I wrote this _at least_ 10 times because I wanted it to be fucking perfect. I’m shit with words. But I hope it sounded alright.’  
> 

Nines stared at the note. He had synthetic tears streaming down his face, but he was in too much shock to wipe them away. Gavin wanted him to…move on? That was impossible. Sure, Gavin thought he would get over his…death eventually. Nines LED kept spinning. Red. Red. Red. Nines needed do…something. Anything.

Connor. He had to call Connor. Would Connor care though? When Connor had to grieve…Nines wasn’t there. He pushed his own brother away to avoid facing his own demons, to avoid thinking about what he would be forced to face. Why would Connor help him now? He had every right to leave Nines to figure this out. But…he did come to Gavin’s funeral.

Nines paused in front of the house he’d been to plenty of times before. It was a little different now. The yard was well cared for now, freshly cut. The old car that sat in the driveway seemed well cared for too, cleaned and repaired as much as possible. There was no more chipped paint on the window frames. Instead, a fresh coat that looked nice against the relatively new siding. Connor had been busy.

Hank had left his house to the man who became a son to him. Connor would need a home well after Hank passed away, and it seemed to be the best option to leave Connor the only home he ever knew. In fact, Hank left a lot of things to Connor. The android didn’t need the material things, but they held sentimental value. Connor drove the car Hank left him. And Connor hadn’t ever looked at getting a different house.

Nines slowly approached the door. He paused for a moment then raised a hand and rapped his knuckles twice against the door. There was only a slight pause before the door opened. There stood Connor, not looking at all different than his first day off the production line. He dressed differently than he used to. He seemed to take a fashion sense from Hank. He wore button up shirts with insane patterns over them. Otherwise, Connor still had the same hair style and even his LED over the years.

Nines stood there, uncertainty radiating off him. “I…uh…” He stuttered. He rarely did that. He felt the synthetic tears well in his eyes against his will. They bubbled up and spilled over his cheeks, leaving wet tracks behind them.

When Connor initially opened the door, he had glared at the man he once considered a sibling. But then Nines stuttered and tears started flowing freely. The annoyed glared melted into concern. “Fuck.” Connor grumbled quietly. “Come on in, Nines.” He welcomed Nines in. Nines took in the appearance of the house. Cleaner, but the furniture remained the same. There were a few pictures of the family that used to live here. Hank, Connor, and Sumo. Now only one remained. “Come on, sit down.” Connor instructed as he plopped on the couch. Nines followed suit. “How are you?”

Nines gave Connor an exasperated look. “How do you think I am?” He snapped.

“If you’re going to be rude, I’ll kick you out.” Connor shot back. Both RK units huffed in annoyance. Then Connor let out a small chuckle. “Hank would tell us to play nice. We’re arguing like brothers.”

“That’s all Gavin ever saw us as.”

“Hank too.” Connor agreed. He sighed. “Ok, why are you here? You’ve been avoiding me for years.”

“Gavin requested I come talk to you.” Nines admitted. “He wrote me a letter.”

Connor shifted in his seat nervously for a moment. He hated confrontation with those close to him. But he had to know. “Ok, look I’ll help you. I understand you are going through hell on Earth right now. But, Nines, I need to know something. Why did you avoid me? Why did you leave me alone when I needed you most?” Connor glared at Nines, tears of what must have been sorrow and anger sat in his eyes.

Nines felt the guilt build in him. “Connor, I apologize. I don’t deserve your support right now. When Hank passed away, your sorrow was hard to handle. I kept my distance because the more I thought about what you were dealing with, the more I had to think about what I would inevitably have to deal with. What I’m dealing with now. I didn’t want to see you because I would have to think about losing Gavin one day.” With that, the tears started again.

Connor did exactly what Nines had done for him. He pulled him into a hug, knowing there was nothing else he could really do. Nines let Connor hold him in a hug and accepted the comfort. Both androids knew the next few years would be difficult, but they would go through it together.

YEARS LATER

“I think I want to get a cat again.” Nines said one evening when he was with Connor.

Connor gave his brother a look. “Why?” He asked.

Nines pondered his response for a moment. “My house is empty and getting quite lonely. I think a cat will be a good idea. Dogs are fine.” Nines added. Connor had since adopted another dog, a German Shepherd. He had adopted the dog, only about two years old. “But cats are easier for someone like me to handle.”

Connor nodded. “We can go look tomorrow.”

So the next day, the two of them walked into an animal shelter. “Hey.” A worker greeted. He was probably in his late twenties or early thirties. His name tag read James. “What can I help you with?”

“I was looking for a pet cat.” Nines explained. Connor had already wandered off toward the dogs.

“Oh sure. What made you pick a cat?” James asked conversationally.

Nines gave a small, reminiscent smile. “My husband liked cats. He was responsible for my first pet being a cat.” James looked back and noticed Nines’ LED spin yellow for a moment.

He gave Nines a sympathetic look. “He was human?” He asked. Nines nodded. James was born well after the revolution. His life had been one where androids were sentient and a form of intelligent life. For James, life with androids was normal. By the time James was born, android and human marriage was legalized. For him, it wasn’t uncommon to meet an android that had married a human. “Well, let’s see if we can find you the perfect cat.” James offered.

The two of them walked through the shelter. There were plenty of great cats that Nines highly considered adopting. But none of them were the perfect cat. Gavin had always insisted that he always knew he would adopt a cat in the first few moments of seeing them. Nines looked over to where Connor was playing with some dogs. Nines was sure his predecessor had picked out another dog that he would adopt and take home with him today.

“None of them?” James asked.

“No. I don’t think so.” Nines mumbled. “I apologize. You spent plenty of time showing me all the cats here.”

James waved off the apology. “It’s no problem. Heck, it’s my job.”

Nines gave a small smile before glancing to the side. In the cage next to him was a cat that was cautiously sitting on her bed, glaring at Nines. “Who’s this?” Nines asked, facing the cage straight on.

“Oh, that’s one of our more pesky cats.” James said. “She was a stray that we picked up. I mean, I hope she find someone to adopt her but she can be more violent and stubborn than most cats.”

Nines stared at the cat some more. “Well sometimes the more violent and stubborn ones are the ones that need the most love. Sometimes they have the most love to give, but they need some given to them first.” He smiled softly at the cat. “Can you open this cage?” James obliged. Nines cautiously reached a hand in. The cat shied away from the hand, but Nines held his hand steady and allowed the cat to approach and sniff his fingers. Eventually the cat crept closer to the opening of the cage. Nines scooped her up.

Immediately, the cat dug her claws into Nines. It scratched his synthetic skin but cause no damage. And the the skin immediately refused over the scratches, leaving no sign of injury. “I think I’ll keep her. I’m very used to dealing with difficult individuals.” Nines said, giving the cat an affectionate look. He looked back at James. “She will be well cared for.” Nines paused when he registered the emotions on James’ face. Awe and affection. Nines’ cheeks went blue for a minute before he asked about finalizing the kitten’s adoption.

Connor was bit surprised that Nines adopted the most standoffish cat at the shelter. But he wasn’t surprised at all when, after only a few weeks, the cat would snuggle up on Nines’ lap and sleep there. Connor was also surprised to find out that Nines was going to get coffee with the man from the animal shelter. He wasn’t surprised at all when Nines got defensive about it.

“It’s just coffee. Nothing special.” He said pointedly.

“Sure.” Connor said with an eye roll. “Look, I know what you’re going to do. You’re going to entertain this man, maybe consider a relationship, but never fully pursue it. Because you aren’t over Gavin. But let me tell you, finding someone doesn’t get rid of the pain.” Connor commented with a soft smile. Recently, Connor had started a relationship with an AP700. Nines had to admit that the pair of them were rather cute together. “But it does soften it. Makes it easier to bear. Don’t just brush off what could be available to you just because you haven’t moved on from Gavin. You might never truly get over it.”

Later that night, Nines sat in bed. He grew accustomed to going into stasis while laying in bed. And his new cat has also grown accustomed to sleeping on the empty side of the bed. Nines unfolded the paper he had read over and over. He knew the words by heart, but he still liked to read them. He liked seeing the curvature of the letters, sloppy and messy and hastily scribbled. Much like the writer of the letter. He sighed as he read the letter through twice. “Ok Gavin. Only because you want me to move on, I’ll try. However, I hear many people say that you never forget your first love. And I’m sure that’s true. Because no matter how hard I try, I can’t forget about you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, that's all the angst I have for you. I apologize for the sadness.


End file.
